Hello all.. You might wonder what am gonna talk about this week!!?? Mothers-in-law, daughters-in-law, sisters-in-law; yes.. am gonna talk about these important relationships of everyone’s life and each and every female in this world is playing these roles. So you must all be wondering, what’s new in that? Nothing? But No!! There is so much difference in the way each and everyone plays these roles in their lives. And that only determines the togetherness and happiness of the family!! 😐
In a marriage, not only the brides have expectations about the new phase of their lives, but the mothers-in-law and sisters-in-law also have a lot of expectations from the new comer. I have seen in-laws who accept their daughters-in-law as their own daughters. They have courtesy and respect her equally as every other member of the house. They don’t have ego clashes in spite of having some misunderstandings, which are not completely avoidable. And there are daughters-in-law who care for their in-laws more than their parents, no matter how they respond.
The care and egoless situation may last forever and everyone wishes so!! But life is not a bed of roses. People may change overtime. There are endless reasons for the change. Not being satisfied with the daughter-in-law/vice versa or sometimes even for the sake of their daughters or any other psychological reactions, lack of communication, are some of the common reasons which causes people to change.
Simi’s case was something similar. It so happened that Simi’s mother-in-law was very caring and good to her. And Simi too was no less!! She had a good rapport with her sisters-in-law too. Everything was fine until one of her sisters-in-law, Riya, started facing unfair situations with her in-laws. Simi’s mother-in-law started concentrating more on her troubled daughter, Riya and her child, like any other mother would do!! And there was nothing wrong in that too!! But the problem was that, she started ignoring her son, simi and their child. She was soo much into taking care of her daughter, son-in-law and their child that she stopped to even exchange pleasantries with Simi. She didn’t want Riya, to feel bad!!
Simi started to miss her mother-in-law and her love. She needed the grandparent’s love and care for her child too. Simi started calling her mother-in-law when she stopped calling her. But she always ignored and neglected her calls, in the pretense of being busy with Riya’s kid. Simi sensed that she was being ignored and had no other option but to reduce her calls and called her only when it was really necessary. Still they both spoke to each other, shared, but the warmth was lost!!
Simi had heard from some of her relatives that her mother-in-law had suffered in her childhood without her mother’s care. So, Simi thought that this would have made her mother-in-law to concentrate more on her daughters, especially when one was facing a crisis. And Simi definitely didn’t expect her mother-in-law not to give priority or care for her sisters-in-law!! But she just earned for some love and care for her husband, herself and child too!! After all, weren’t they also a part of the family??
But she realized that Riya was not really feeling positive about her anymore!! She sensed that Riya didn’t want her mother, to give time to her brother and his family. To an extent, that Riya didn’t even like it when her mother carried Simi’s son. Simi felt that Riya didn’t even let her mother to visit her son and his family or to just spend some time with them, in the pretense of being busy. But Simi wanted to look at everything as positively as she could!!
But many a times Simi was confused and forced to think, whether everything that her in-laws were doing was planned or it just happened that way!! But when it always happened the same way and her advances towards being together with the family was ignored, she was left with no choice but to feel hurt and distance herself from them!!
Whenever Simi shared her troubles with me, from my point of view, i suggested what felt best for me. I suggested Simi to continue seeing things positively and remain egoless, as she was!! I didn’t want her to hold any grudge towards her family and also requested her to continue her advances towards them as much as she could!! After all, she is also hurt and i couldn’t really ask her to behave as if nothing ever happened.
There are many grave situations which are faced by women, which are sometimes even irreparable, unbearable and indigestible!! But, when compared to those, what Simi is facing is definitely hurtful, but not harmful and indigestible!!! I still believe that one fine day her in-laws might understand her genuine earning for their love, care and togetherness!! I believe that Riya would realize that Simi was never against her, but always wanted to stand by her in all good and bad. If that happens, things will fall back in place and they would become one happy family!! And i really wish that the same happens for sure and Simi’s efforts turn fruitful and bring her family together!! 😇 😀
In a marriage, not only the brides have expectations about the new phase of their lives, but the mothers-in-law and sisters-in-law also have a lot of expectations from the new comer. I have seen in-laws who accept their daughters-in-law as their own daughters. They have courtesy and respect her equally as every other member of the house. They don’t have ego clashes in spite of having some misunderstandings, which are not completely avoidable. And there are daughters-in-law who care for their in-laws more than their parents, no matter how they respond.
The care and egoless situation may last forever and everyone wishes so!! But life is not a bed of roses. People may change overtime. There are endless reasons for the change. Not being satisfied with the daughter-in-law/vice versa or sometimes even for the sake of their daughters or any other psychological reactions, lack of communication, are some of the common reasons which causes people to change.
Simi’s case was something similar. It so happened that Simi’s mother-in-law was very caring and good to her. And Simi too was no less!! She had a good rapport with her sisters-in-law too. Everything was fine until one of her sisters-in-law, Riya, started facing unfair situations with her in-laws. Simi’s mother-in-law started concentrating more on her troubled daughter, Riya and her child, like any other mother would do!! And there was nothing wrong in that too!! But the problem was that, she started ignoring her son, simi and their child. She was soo much into taking care of her daughter, son-in-law and their child that she stopped to even exchange pleasantries with Simi. She didn’t want Riya, to feel bad!!
Simi started to miss her mother-in-law and her love. She needed the grandparent’s love and care for her child too. Simi started calling her mother-in-law when she stopped calling her. But she always ignored and neglected her calls, in the pretense of being busy with Riya’s kid. Simi sensed that she was being ignored and had no other option but to reduce her calls and called her only when it was really necessary. Still they both spoke to each other, shared, but the warmth was lost!!
Simi had heard from some of her relatives that her mother-in-law had suffered in her childhood without her mother’s care. So, Simi thought that this would have made her mother-in-law to concentrate more on her daughters, especially when one was facing a crisis. And Simi definitely didn’t expect her mother-in-law not to give priority or care for her sisters-in-law!! But she just earned for some love and care for her husband, herself and child too!! After all, weren’t they also a part of the family??
But she realized that Riya was not really feeling positive about her anymore!! She sensed that Riya didn’t want her mother, to give time to her brother and his family. To an extent, that Riya didn’t even like it when her mother carried Simi’s son. Simi felt that Riya didn’t even let her mother to visit her son and his family or to just spend some time with them, in the pretense of being busy. But Simi wanted to look at everything as positively as she could!!
But many a times Simi was confused and forced to think, whether everything that her in-laws were doing was planned or it just happened that way!! But when it always happened the same way and her advances towards being together with the family was ignored, she was left with no choice but to feel hurt and distance herself from them!!
Whenever Simi shared her troubles with me, from my point of view, i suggested what felt best for me. I suggested Simi to continue seeing things positively and remain egoless, as she was!! I didn’t want her to hold any grudge towards her family and also requested her to continue her advances towards them as much as she could!! After all, she is also hurt and i couldn’t really ask her to behave as if nothing ever happened.
There are many grave situations which are faced by women, which are sometimes even irreparable, unbearable and indigestible!! But, when compared to those, what Simi is facing is definitely hurtful, but not harmful and indigestible!!! I still believe that one fine day her in-laws might understand her genuine earning for their love, care and togetherness!! I believe that Riya would realize that Simi was never against her, but always wanted to stand by her in all good and bad. If that happens, things will fall back in place and they would become one happy family!! And i really wish that the same happens for sure and Simi’s efforts turn fruitful and bring her family together!! 😇 😀
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